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Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are blasted as some of the biggest losers in Hollywood by industry bible after their 'whiny' Netflix documentary and 'inert' Spotify podcast
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have been named among the biggest losers of 2023 by The Hollywood Reporter, with the magazine citing their 'whiny' documentary and memoir. The magazine said the couple had 'fled a life of ceremonial public service to cash in their celebrity status in the States' - but failed to ignite. 'The Harry and Meghan brand swelled into a sanctimonious bubble just begging to be popped - and South Park was the pin,' the authors said. In March, South Park ridiculed the couple with an episode entitled 'World-Wide Privacy Tour', which skewered the pair for claiming to find media intrusion too intense, and then seeking the spotlight. The couple were joined on the 'loser' list by Marvel movies, the Scream franchise, troubled actor Ezra Miller, and Disney. Top of the winners list was Taylor Swift, accompanied by Barbie creators Margot Robbie and Greta Gerwig, and union chief Fran Drescher.
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Dozens of jihadi brides like Shamima Begum could return to the UK as America piles pressure on ministers to accept them back into Britain
Ministers are facing growing international pressure to accept the return of 'jihadi brides' who fled Britain to join Islamic State.The moves, which are being led by the US government, could lead to the return of 'dozens' of brides such as Shamima Begum – one of three British schoolgirls who left their homes in East London and travelled to Syria eight years ago.
It has caused heated discussions in Whitehall, with former Home Secretary Suella Braverman leading opposition to the move in the weeks before she was sacked by the Prime Minister last month.
Ms Braverman is understood to have objected to pressure from the Foreign Office – then headed by her successor as Home Secretary, James Cleverly – on the grounds that the women would present a security risk if they were allowed to come back.
A source said: 'We think there could be dozens of these women, and each one would need to be monitored 24/7 by a team of specialist police officers, which would be a massive drain on resources.'
(More on the link)
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Prague gunman 'murdered a man and his newborn baby in chilling "dry run" in nearby village' - a week before killing his own dad and going on university gun rampage where he slaughtered 15 others
David Kozak, 24, killed 14 people and injured 25 during a rampage in which he targeted students at his university in downtown Prague, police said, adding that he was shot dead after carrying out the horrific attack. Kozak murdered his father in the town of Hostoun on before making the two-hour journey into the Czech capital where he began randomly shooting people from the balcony of Charles University Arts faculty. In the lead up to his killing spree, he is thought to have kept a diary in Russian on messaging app Telegram, writing in one chilling post: 'I want to do a school shooting and possibly suicide.' Now it has emerged that police are looking at whether Kozak may have carried out another shooting in Klanovicky les, a village near Prague. Hundreds of police combed the area after the perpetrator disappeared, and now authorities are probing whether the two killing sprees could be linked.
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Harry and Meghan hope for 'year of redemption' after challenging 2023 with couple eyeing up move to LA because the duchess is 'popular' in Hollywood, sources say
The hope for next year came after they suffered a number of setbacks, including the scrapping of their Spotify contract early and one of the firm's bosses calling them 'lazy' and 'f**king grifters'. They were skewered by South Park and Family Guy, named among the 'biggest losers' of the year by The Hollywood Reporter and just last week revealed a £8.7million fall in donations to their Archewell Foundation. PR experts also believe that Omid Scobie's book Endgame, and the race row it sparked, was also a disaster for the Sussexes, who failed to condemn it. But sources close to the couple, who are reportedly in Costa Rica, have said in the American media that 'Harry and Meghan think 2024 will be the year of redemption' - with Meghan apparently turning down offers of work left, right and centre and Harry also in 'extremely high demand'. Meghan is 'laser-focused' on the their foundation and Harry also has a year until the next Invictus Games in Canada . An insider told US Weekly : 'They've actually been shocked by how popular she [Meghan] is. Her team has never seen anything like it. A second source denied claims recently that her new talent agency WME may be considering dropping her after just six months. The insider said that Meghan is working on a 'big media deal'. US Weekly claims that the Duke and Duchess are considering moving with Prince Archie , four, and Princess Lilibet, two, out of their $14.7million (£11.6m) Montecito mansion to Los Angeles so they can be closer to Hollywood.
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nivek
As Above So Below
The Markle's Christmas couldn't be better explained than this. 
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The Duchess wakes later than usual - no early morning emails to staff today (it's their holiday too, she says empathetically).
A quick final check of the mailbox confirms a festive sadness: cards from Jay Z, Bey, the Beckhams and miscellaneous family members have indeed been lost in transit.
The table is laid by Harry - weary from the hard past year he's had, notably publishing his ghost-written memoir in January.
Turkey's out - instead it's ethically culled chicken from the couple's garden coop. Place mats are replaced with excess copies of Meghan's best-selling picture book The Bench. (#Recycling hack!!)
While side dishes of betrayal and woe are re-blended, reheated and served with extra helpings. (Bought from Palestinian-owned stores only).
House rules: Don't mention Spotify, Coronation or car chases.
Auntie Oprah slides into the mix and - despite recent rumors of a cooling in relations - I'm happy to report she isn't seated out in the cold.
Here's Doria and Tyler Perry, too - rocking up in a Hertz electric-car rental. And what Royal Californian Christmas would be complete without raucous parlor games?
Enter Omid Scobie, Target's answer to a court jester.
Charades is so stuffy Sandringham, he says. Fantastical fire-side storytelling is much more modern. The more stupendously make-believe the better.
And so Omid knits a yarn so hysterically phoney and bold, the Sussex family clan fashion matching cardigans and beanies.
These prove perfect for a post-lunch walk on the beach, where they launch ships in bottles to those less fortunate across the globe who aren't lucky enough to have Netflix, newspapers, access to the internet or really any way of hearing H&M's grumbles of grievance.
Back home it's time for gifts under the family spruce - felled from a private jet-offsetting forest.
For Harry from Meghan, a tube of Dr Freud's favorite todger tincture and a new necklace (his last one broke - don't ask how!).
For Meghan from Harry, a stunning tennis bracelet of shimmering blood diamonds.
For the children, a tough lesson that good things come to those who wait, marry rich, or star briefly on Deal Or No Deal. (That's something Meghan learnt from Mandela.)
Beware: a grinch! Samantha Markle pulls up in an Uber armed with gift-wrapped court papers addressed to her sister. How cruel to treat a sibling that way, Harry says.
Now it's time for the King's speech.
But just then, gathered round the 100' flatscreen, Harry reclining in his hand-carved reclaimed-mahogany throne with vegan pudding in hand, the cable goes out. The TV plunges into darkness.
Asked why she was seen with wire cutters by the fuse box, Meghan says recollections may vary.
And so, in lieu of Charles's festive message, they turn to draw up this year's naughty list of people who have wronged the Duke and Duchess of righteous indignation.
Enemy No.1: The Evil Media. (WAAAGH!)
Enemy No.2: The entire British public. (Colonizers!)
Also included: Bill 'f***ing grifters' Simmons and Disney, who continue to refuse to offer Meghan a well-earned lead roll.
Looking ahead to the new year, H&M mentally prepare for another twelve months of being begged for content, lifestyle guidance, therapy advice, and thoughts on how to live in truth.
A 2024 relaunch of the The Tig/Instagram/Suits spinoff/general good works? Just you wait - and wait!
All that's then left is a toast to success, wealth, celebrity friends, humility and freedom.
Sometimes you're just so happy that it hurts.
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Ethically culled chicken from the family coop with extra helpings of re-heated misery - and a blood diamond bracelet wrapped under the tree: It's Christmas at the Sussexes'
As North Polian gusts slip and sigh their way to Montecito, little Archie and Lilibet's sustainable stockings are bursting at their hempen seams.The Duchess wakes later than usual - no early morning emails to staff today (it's their holiday too, she says empathetically).
A quick final check of the mailbox confirms a festive sadness: cards from Jay Z, Bey, the Beckhams and miscellaneous family members have indeed been lost in transit.
The table is laid by Harry - weary from the hard past year he's had, notably publishing his ghost-written memoir in January.
Turkey's out - instead it's ethically culled chicken from the couple's garden coop. Place mats are replaced with excess copies of Meghan's best-selling picture book The Bench. (#Recycling hack!!)
While side dishes of betrayal and woe are re-blended, reheated and served with extra helpings. (Bought from Palestinian-owned stores only).
House rules: Don't mention Spotify, Coronation or car chases.
Auntie Oprah slides into the mix and - despite recent rumors of a cooling in relations - I'm happy to report she isn't seated out in the cold.
Here's Doria and Tyler Perry, too - rocking up in a Hertz electric-car rental. And what Royal Californian Christmas would be complete without raucous parlor games?
Enter Omid Scobie, Target's answer to a court jester.
Charades is so stuffy Sandringham, he says. Fantastical fire-side storytelling is much more modern. The more stupendously make-believe the better.
And so Omid knits a yarn so hysterically phoney and bold, the Sussex family clan fashion matching cardigans and beanies.
These prove perfect for a post-lunch walk on the beach, where they launch ships in bottles to those less fortunate across the globe who aren't lucky enough to have Netflix, newspapers, access to the internet or really any way of hearing H&M's grumbles of grievance.
Back home it's time for gifts under the family spruce - felled from a private jet-offsetting forest.
For Harry from Meghan, a tube of Dr Freud's favorite todger tincture and a new necklace (his last one broke - don't ask how!).
For Meghan from Harry, a stunning tennis bracelet of shimmering blood diamonds.
For the children, a tough lesson that good things come to those who wait, marry rich, or star briefly on Deal Or No Deal. (That's something Meghan learnt from Mandela.)
Beware: a grinch! Samantha Markle pulls up in an Uber armed with gift-wrapped court papers addressed to her sister. How cruel to treat a sibling that way, Harry says.
Now it's time for the King's speech.
But just then, gathered round the 100' flatscreen, Harry reclining in his hand-carved reclaimed-mahogany throne with vegan pudding in hand, the cable goes out. The TV plunges into darkness.
Asked why she was seen with wire cutters by the fuse box, Meghan says recollections may vary.
And so, in lieu of Charles's festive message, they turn to draw up this year's naughty list of people who have wronged the Duke and Duchess of righteous indignation.
Enemy No.1: The Evil Media. (WAAAGH!)
Enemy No.2: The entire British public. (Colonizers!)
Also included: Bill 'f***ing grifters' Simmons and Disney, who continue to refuse to offer Meghan a well-earned lead roll.
Looking ahead to the new year, H&M mentally prepare for another twelve months of being begged for content, lifestyle guidance, therapy advice, and thoughts on how to live in truth.
A 2024 relaunch of the The Tig/Instagram/Suits spinoff/general good works? Just you wait - and wait!
All that's then left is a toast to success, wealth, celebrity friends, humility and freedom.
Sometimes you're just so happy that it hurts.
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nivek
As Above So Below
Is Keir Starmer wise to cosy up to Tony Blair, a man who has benefited financially from a panoply of autocrats?
After Sir Tony Blair was condemned by the 2016 Chilcot Inquiry into the Iraq War, many assumed that the former Prime Minister would disappear from public life.He could continue to make money from advising dodgy autocrats, while augmenting an enormous fortune that, at a recent count, included some 31 properties co-owned with his wife, Cherie.
It hasn't quite worked out like that. No doubt the Blair wealth has gone on fructifying, but Sir Tony, far from retreating from the national stage, has moved ever closer to the centre of it. If this time next year, Sir Keir Starmer is ensconced in No 10, we may be sure that the ex-PM won't be far from his side.
What an amazing development — and what a disgrace that the architect of our disastrous interventions in Iraq and Afghanistan should have wheedled his way into the inner counsels of the current Labour leader, who may soon be in charge of this country.
There's no question that the relationship is close. When Labour won two major by-election victories last October, Sir Keir invoked the party's 1997 triumph under Sir Tony: 'What I do want to do is follow in the footsteps of a leader of our party who took us from opposition to power.'
(More on the link)
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Prince Andrew is reported to police over Epstein files: Calls on both sides of the Atlantic for the Duke of York to face prosecution after unsealed documents make more claims of sexual assault - damaging hope of returning to royal duties
Prince Andrew has been reported to the police by an anti-monarchy campaign group after allegations of sexual assault were made against him in unsealed court documents.The Duke of York, who has always denied any wrongdoing, was reported to the Metropolitan Police by Republic after he was referenced multiple times in files relating to disgraced paedophile financier Jeffrey Epstein.
This was matched by similar calls from a US attorney who represented some of Epstein's victims, who said police in Britain have a duty to investigate Andrew as he 'still refuses to fully account for his time' with the paedophile.
The unredacted documents, which were released on Wednesday in the United States, included allegations Andrew had an orgy with underage girls and touched a woman's breast while posing with a puppet of himself.
It is a fresh setback for the late Queen's second son who, just 10 days ago, walked to church on Christmas Day with the King and the rest of the royal family, symbolising his gradual rehabilitation within the monarchy after his public appearance at his brother's coronation in his garter robes in May.
(More on the link)
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Paella could 'disappear' due to EU rules which risk destroying the essential rice - as Brussels further infuriates farmers
Spain's iconic paella dish could 'disappear' due to European Union rules which risk destroying its essential rice, as Brussels further infuriates farmers.The Spanish rice variety traditionally used to make the dish is under threat from a fungus after the EU banned a pesticide called tricyclazole, which farmers say is vital to keep the fungus at bay.
Three rice producers in the Valencia region said their harvest of arroz bomba, or bomb rice, a variety grown almost exclusively in Spain, was half the 10-year average in 2023 as a result of the Pyricularia fungus which causes rice blast disease.
Bomba rice 'is very likely to disappear,' said Miguel Minguet, a rice farmer in the Albufera Natural Park in Valencia, the region from where paella originates.
'Our crop is going to be lost to regulations,' he said.
Spain 's iconic paella dish (pictured) could 'disappear' due to European Union rules which risk destroying its essential rice, as Brussels further infuriates farmers
Meanwhile, major exporters such as Brazil, India and Cambodia are widely using the pesticide to protect their own crops.
It is the latest example of how the bloc's environmental rules are angering growers, and comes after a warning from French scientists that Camembert cheese and brie could become extinct because of a decline in fungi.
Farmers across Europe have staged angry protests against the EU over restrictions they say hand an advantage to outside competitors.
Using their heavy machinery, they have blockaded key roads into capitals, such as Paris and Brussels, and even taken their grievances to the EU's headquarters.
Spanish farmers have been protesting across the country this week.
The clashes expose the EU's struggle to reconcile its sustainability drive with its aim of becoming more self-sufficient in food production amid disrupted supply chains.
The European Commission has been forced to backtrack, with President Ursula von der Leyen this week proposing the withdrawal of the EU's plan to halve the use of pesticides as the bloc made attempts to appease angry farmers.
(More on the link)
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Prince Harry faces court showdown over secret immigration records as US tries to block call to show whether the troubled royal lied on his visa application about taking drugs - which he admitted to in his memoir Spare
Prince Harry faces a showdown in a US court this week over attempts to keep his immigration records secret.The Duke of Sussex has considered becoming an American citizen, but those plans could be in jeopardy if a judge rules against him after Friday's case in Washington DC.
A US think-tank is seeking to force the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) to release Harry's immigration records to determine if the Duke admitted his drugs use when he entered the United States in 2020.
Anyone applying for a visa to live and work in America has to answer 'yes' or 'no' to the question: 'Are you or have you ever been a drug abuser or addict?'
In his memoir Spare, Harry admitted using drugs including marijuana, cocaine and magic mushrooms.
Last night, Nile Gardiner, director of the Margaret Thatcher Centre For Freedom at The Heritage Foundation, said: 'A judge has the final say on whether the American public has the right to see whether the DHS afforded Prince Harry special treatment. He can no longer hide behind his liberal elite allies in the Biden administration.'
In an interview on ABC's Good Morning America show on Friday, Harry said he was considering becoming a US citizen.
He said: 'American citizenship is something that's crossed my mind but certainly not something that's a high priority for me right now.'
An LA immigration lawyer said: 'This could be very serious for Prince Harry. If he didn't tick the 'yes' box when he entered the States then his visa will be reviewed and it is possible it could be revoked.
If he is thinking of applying for citizenship, then having his visa revoked would be a disaster.'
(More on the link)
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